You What!
by xtwilight18x
Summary: Bella turns to cutting after Edward left, but when he comes back she can't stop. Will she be able to find the will power to survive and stop hurting herself and The Cullen's in the process? Will she be able to stop the addiction she has created? Sequel Up
1. Chapter 1

Bella looked down at her scarred arms. There were crisscross scars going every which way and some deeper and darker than others. She sighed

and pulled on her light brown sweater to cover it up. She pulled on faded jeans and let her hair fall down to conceal her face. She went

downstairs, grabbed a lemonade and went to her truck. She drove to school, lost in her own thoughts. _I can't believe I did that! I should never _

_had cut when he left. Now he's back. _She smiled. _But I __can't stop._ She frowned again. She was addicted. Addicted to the pain. Even with

Edward back she still couldn't stop. She pulled into a spot next to a shiny silver Volvo. Before she even turned off the ignition, Edward had her

door opened.

He smiled "Hello Beautiful."

_I'm not beautiful, bet you wouldn't think that if you saw me now._ She frowned on the inside and pulled a half smile for Edward to see. "Hey."

she got out with his help and they walked hand in hand to the building.

"So tonight you want to come over? Alice wants to have a party. Watch videos and hangout. You in?" he smiled his breathtaking crooked smile.

She smiled back, how could she not, but then frowned.

"I can't, not tonight." She looked down and continued to walk until she was pulled tightly against Edward's chest.

"And why ever not?" he asked dazzling her.

"I'm hanging out with Charlie. He and I haven't had much time to spend together, so we decided on tonight. I'm sorry." she lied and broke free

from Edward's strong embrace. She couldn't bare to look him in his eyes when she lied. He caught up and gently grabbed her hand.

"That's fine. Tomorrow night ok?" She thought about what she was doing tonight. Would it be ok for tomorrow night?

"Yea. I'll come by tomorrow at seven."

"Perfect." he kissed her cheek as she went into her classroom. She eventually found herself in the lunchroom with Edward without noticing her

arrival. Edward got the lunch and they walked over to a very anxious looking Alice.

"What's wrong Alice?" Bella asked as she sat and took the lemonade off the tray.

"I need to talk to you, now. Privately." She glanced towards the restrooms and back at Edward who looked frustrated.

"Sure." She answered, unsure, but followed Alice to the bathroom. Making sure it was empty, Bella asked the obvious.

"Alice, won't Edward hear you? Or read your thoughts?"

"I'm blocking him now and no he won't be able to hear us. Even if he did he wouldn't understand in the least. Bella, you haven't _done _anything,

have you?"

"Like what?" She asked a little freaked.

"Have you made a _habit_ out of anything?" She was desperately trying to get an answer. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I couldn't

let her know I did that. She'd tell Edward and he would be upset. That would kill me.

"Alice I honestly don't know what your talking about." and she left to go back to Edward.

_Yea right Bella. I no what you do…_ Alice quickly blocked her thoughts and walked out


	2. Chapter 2

-1

Bella made it through the rest of the day without any trouble from Edward or Alice. She breathed a sigh of relief as she walked into her empty

house. She out her bag in her room and proceeded to the bathroom. She hadn't cut in three days and it was killing her! She took her blade and

carved a curvy line from her wrist to her elbow on the inside of her left forearm. Tears welled in her eyes as she wiped the blood away and then

vomited in the toilet. She felt so much better though. She gave a content sigh and cleaned up her mess. She then went to her room and laid on her

bed. In mere moments she was fast asleep.

She awoke late and Charlie had already left to go fish. She looked at her arm and noticed it had started scabbing. She put her jacket on over her

camisole and pajama pants to go downstairs. She didn't want anyone to see her arms if she could help it. She poured herself some cereal and

went to watch television. She finished, washed and put away her dishes and went to check her email. She wrote to Renee and then decided to

read Romeo and Juliet. She had finished the book by the time Charlie came back at five-thirty. She talked to him while she cooked dinner. She

went to take a shower at six and noticed her arm completely scabbed up. She got out at six thirty-two to get ready for tonight.

She put on a light brown tank top with her dark brown jacket to cover her arms. She did her hair in a ponytail and was just finishing her makeup

when someone knocked on the front door.

"Hello Edward."

"Hello Chief Swan." Edward nodded before stepping in.

"Bella!" Charlie called as she hurried down the stairs.

"Hi Edward Bye Dad! See you later." She kissed his cheek before dragging Edward out. He just laughed. They got in the car and started driving

fingers entwined. They talked as the drove and made it to the Cullen's in record time. When the got up to the door Bella was immediately

engulfed in a huge hug by Alice. She laughed as Alice pulled her into the room where everyone except Rosaline and Jasper were. Before she

could ask where they were, Edward spoke up.

"Jasper and Rosaline decided to go hunt so it's just us six.

"Alice, what are we watching?"

She smirked. "Underworld Evolution." Bella smiled but was also a bit scared when she was surrounded by five vampires at the moment. She sat

down next to Edward on the floor as the movie began. Halfway through when Markus was about to kill Michael, she stretched and felt the scab

break. Her eyes grew wide in fear. _Oh No! _She stood up so fast she knocked over the coffee table.

"Bella?" Edward asked from the floor. She felt the scab pulled getting stuck to the fabric of her jacket. She winced.

"I need to go. I'm sorry." She ran out the door. She got to the steps before she tripped.

"AHH!!" She screamed as she fell to the ground.

"Bella!" She hit the ground before Edward got to her. He ran to her and picked her up ever so gently. He forehead was bleeding.

"I suggest everyone leaves while I fix her up." Alice, Esme and Emmett left before they attacked.

"Edward…"

"I'm Staying." Carlisle sighed and started cleaning and sewing her forehead. When he finished Edward carried her to his room as Carlisle

followed.

"Take her jacket off before she overheats." Carlisle instructed. Edward took it off and they both gasped at what they saw.

"Carlisle, her- her arms." Edward whispered.

"Oh my." was all he said. They stared at her as Edward slowly started tracing the scars. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes. She looked at

Edward and Carlisle, the down at her cold arm. She saw that they know knew. She jumped up and grabbed her jacket but Edward stopped her

just before she slipped it on.

"Bella, how did this happen?" he asked her. She avoided his gaze and started to silently cry.

"Did someone hurt you?" she looked at Edward then back to the floor and silently nodded.

He grew angry. "Who Bella? Was it Mike? I'll kill him! Tell me Bella." He pleaded. She started crying harder, soft sobs escaping, and sank to the

floor cradling her head in her hands.

"Bella," he tried to calm his voice to not upset her. He pulled her closer. "Who did this to you sweetheart?" She took a deep breath.

"Me…"she whispered Edward froze.

"You WHAT!?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Please, don't yell Edward." Bella was crying as Edward grew angrier by the minute. Carlisle stayed silent.

"And why should I? Your hurting yourself and you don't seem to care! Why did you do it Bella? How long have you been doing this? What

possessed you to cut in the first place?" he screamed at her while she cried.

She sobbed harder but he still didn't stop. He wanted to know why she had done this to herself and why she never told him. "Why are you

harming yourself when I tried so hard to keep you safe?"

She glared up at him as he said this. "Don't even TRY a guilt trip Edward Cullen! You caused this when you left months ago! This never

would've happened if you never left me!" she sobbed harder as she understood what she said without thinking.

"And once again I'm the cause of your problems. I should just leave for good." he said sadly. "Then I wont hurt you at all." She cried harder

and clawed at her arms trying to break skin. They were getting raw and red. It was starting to worry him. When would she stop.

"Bella, stop. That's not good for you." He said sternly. She scratched harder and cried more.

"You cant leave me again. You cant. I'd die. DO YOU HEAR ME!?? I'D DIE WITHOUT YOU!! DO YOU WANT THAT??" she collapsed

onto the floor clutching her stomach and heaving.

"Bella? Calm down. I wont leave. Please, just stop." she started coughing violently.

"I need to feel pain." she wheezed as she spoke." I need to feel something other than despair. Pain is all I have." she stopped coughing but was

breathing heavily.

"Bella, why did you do this to yourself? Why do you cut yourself?"

"You left me…"

_**Flashback**_

"_Edward, Please come back. I miss you. I love you. I'm in agony. Please, come hold me, come back and love me." Bella stared out her _

_window, just like every other night awaiting his return. Hoping to wake up from a nightmare. But once again, he never came. She shut her _

_window, and sat on the edge of her bed. Hugging her knees to her chest. " I can't continue to live this way." she said aloud to herself. _

_"Anything's better that despair. I need to feel again." She stood up and went to her bathroom. She grabbed a new blade from the razor she _

_had and very lightly, traced it on her forearm. Not enough to break the skin, but enough to feel pain and leave a light red mark. Satisfied _

_that it was better than despair, she pushed harder. "This is my escape." Crimson blood flowed freely down her arm. She felt sick and ended _

_up puking in the toilet. Once she was cleaned, she went to her bed, and for once slept without the nightmare…_

_**End Flashback**_

Edward stared at her, gaping, for what seemed like hours.

"Bella, I've been back though. And some of these are new." He traced over the one she made recently. She shivered. "Why do you continue

this if I am back?" He was confused and frustrated, and it showed.

Bella glanced down and kept her eyes away from his. "I can't stop." She whispered. "It brings me release and comforts me when your not

around. I like the pain. I endorse it."

"Bella! That's horrible! You of all people shouldn't have to do that just to feel bettter. You can talk to me. About anything."

She smiled slightly and hugged him tight.

"Bella," Carlisle finally spoke. "Tomorrow you will go to the hospital and we will have a better look at those cuts. Then we will get a counselor

to talk to you and we'll get you to stop hurting yourself to feel." HE obviously thought the situation was handled and so did Edward for the

both nodded and Carlisle began to leave, but Bella had other plans…

"No." she said simply. They both stopped dead in the tracks and looked at me. Surprised and wonderment shown in there eyes.

"No what Bella?" Carlisle asked curiously.

"I will NOT go to see a counselor." she said simply yet firmly.

**Author's note:**

**I'm going to continue more on the story.. suggestions?? Read and Review like always please!!**


	4. Chapter 4

-1They both stared at her in shock. Carlisle recovered first.

"Bella you will got to the hospital tomorrow and you are going to see a counselor." He said it with such

authority, it left no room for arguments, but she was persistent. Edward was rendered speechless.

"No. I will not go to see a counselor for I do not like them. I will not talk to them about what I've done for

it's none of their concern. They don't know me nor will they after. It's my release and I will continue for as

long as I please."

"Bella-"

"I need a human minute Edward." Bella stalked out to the bathroom.

'_Edward! Stop her!! She's going to cut!'_

Edward barged into the bathroom after heeding Alice's warning and sure enough Bella was standing by the

counter with a blade right above her left forearm, ready to pierce flesh. Before she even noticed what

happened, Edward had the blade in hand at the door.

"What the-" She was startled to see Edward glaring from the doorway. "Edward, give it back. I-"

"Do you have a death wish Bella??!" he roared, frustrated and hurt. "Your in a house full of vampires and

you want to BLEED in our presence?! Are you suicidal?!" Tears were once again falling from Bella's eyes

and she faced the ground. "Do you want to take yourself from me, forever?" he whispered, to hurt to say it

louder.

"No! Edward I love you, nothing will change that I just, I just need to do this. I know you won't understand

but I need my blade back. I need to escape sometimes. Pain is all I know…"

"What about love Bella? Do you not know love? Do you not know compassion? Why do you do this?" By

now the whole family had arrived to witness this tragic event. "Bella, honey you need help."

"No Edward," she stood up facing him. "I need my blade." and she lunged for it. Edward however was to

fast and switched the blade to the opposite hand holding it away from her. Bella screamed in rage and

attacked Edward's stomach. Tears were falling but from weather she was made or the pain from Edward's

chest was hurting her, no one knew. Carlisle grabbed Bella's waist and pulled her away before she damaged

her hands further.

"Bella calm down!" Edward was shocked by her sudden burst of rage, and watched helplessly as she

attacked Carlisle as best as she could while being in front of him. She gradually calmed. "No! Jasper Stop

It!!" she screamed before going completely limp in Carlisle's arms.

"Bella?"

"I just calmed her down, extremely." stated Jasper. Edward just nodded in understanding.

"Carlisle, what should we do?"

"We must get her to talk to someone, to get this sorted out. Esme, Alice and Rose, can you three talk to her

when she awakes. She needs a woman's help to get through this." He concluded seeing Edwards protest.

'Of course." Esme said and moved forward to get Bella. Her and Alice took Bella to Edward's room to wait

till she woke.

"I don't see why I should help her." Rosalie glared.

"Rose, if you wont do it for Bella, do it for me. Please Rose. I love her. I hate not being able to help her

through this as much as you hate having to help her, but I need her to be ok."

Her glare softened as she looked at Edward's vulnerable face. "Fine," she sighed. " but I'm only helping her

for you Edward." she empathized. She stalked to Edward's room, shutting the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

Esme, Alice and Rose waited 20 minutes until Bella woke.

She blinked her eyes repeatedly and looked around at her surroundings. She spotted the three vampires in front of her and was

immediately wary. She jerked up and tried to go to the door, but Rosalie blocked it while Alice gently but firmly pushed her back

to the sofa.

"Bella, why don't you talk to someone about this?"

No Answer.

"Why do you continue when there are people who love you and hate to see you hurt? Why don't you stop?"

Silence

"Damn It Bella! Answer Her!!" Rosalie thundered.

"What's it to you? You don't care about me at all! You never have and never will. Now all of a sudden you want me to talk

when you never gave a damn about me?! Why should I? Why should I open myself up to you when you won't even tell me why

you hate me or ignore me? Why should I even talk to you after the way you've treated me? I'm not vermin but it seems like

whenever I'm around I am to you. Just because I can't live up to the expectations of your beauty, doesn't mean you have to be

like this to me." Bella screamed this and broke down.

Esme and Alice stared at her in shock at what she'd just done. She stood up to Rosalie who had the power to crush her at any

minute, and she told her off.

"Esme, Alice, give me and Bella a moment." Alice started to object before Rose cut her off. "I just want to talk to her. Don't

worry."

Bella just glared and tried not to start hyperventilating. They left and Rose shut the door behind them. She stared at Bella.

Waiting…

"What?" Bella snapped, tired of the silence.

"Don't you understand?" Rose asked.

"Understand what?" she said, exasperated.

"Jealousy." Bella froze.

"J-Jealousy? Your jealous of a frail little human?"

"I was Bella, before you did this," she indicated Bella's arms, "but now I pity you." Bella stared at the floor. Fighting tears.

"Edward loved you. He still loves you even though you wont go get any help and you continue this. He wants to help you but

you wont even listen. You don't even care about the pain he's going through. Your selfish and just care about yourself. Your

pain, your release. But what about Edward? By hurting yourself, your hurting Edward. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not but-"

"Then prove it Bella! Stop hurting yourself to feel pain and start feeling love. Stop cutting long enough to check the damage

you've caused on Edward. If you care at all, you'll let him help you. You'd let us all get you the help you need."

"Rose, I-"

"Bella, look at yourself. See the damage, and tell me once and for all if your going to stop." Bella looked down at her arms

through the tears falling down her face. She traced the scars and winced at what she's done to herself. Remembering the pained

expression on Edward's face burned into her mind's eye.

"All you need to do Bella, is ask for help. Can you do that? Can you ask Edward for his help?" Bella merely nodded.

"Edward." Rose called as if he was standing right next to her. He appeared not three seconds later.

"Yes?" He knew what was going on, but he was still depressed.

"Bella would like to talk to you." and she left for Edward to talk to Bella.

"Yes Bella?" She took a deep breath.

"Help me. Please." she whispered as more tears fell.

"Oh my Bella, I will ALWAYS help you, and now is no exception. I love you." he kissed her head tenderly as she hugged him

tightly.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I'm ready to get the help I need, as long as your with me." she looked at him hopefully. He kissed her

lips sweetly.

"Of course. Every step of the way. I will NEVER leave you again. You will get better and be happy." She smiled into his neck.

"I already am." She whispered and fell asleep as Edward sang… Finally at peace with herself…

The End!!

**Authors Note:**

**What'd you think? Like it? Read and Review!! J**

**Thanks to those who helped me with there suggestions and especially Morgan who gave me the idea to have Rosalie help Bella solve her problem. Lots Of Love!!!**

**Ash**

**Check out my other Stories as well!**


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